Hi. My name’s Natan and I’m the Founder a CEO of Better2Gether.
You know, very often we hear people say in their wedding speech, “I can’t wait to share the rest of my life with you.” To share the rest of my life with you! When we’re dating, we share so much. We sit for hours upon hours, sharing the stories of our past that our partner doesn’t know about us. We talk about sharing the dreams of our future, of the family that we’re going to create, of the relationship that we’re going to have. But very often, couples after being together for a while,stop sharing. They dont have the energy or the time to do so.
I think this happens for two reasons. The first reason is life is very hectic! Life is busy. Work drains our mind. Our children drain our emotions. Our social life drains our entire being. And by the time we sit down at the end of the day, we don’t have the energy, the space to share with our partner. The second reason is complacency. And that can be even more dangerous. When we’ve been together for so long, do we feel, I don’t need to share. My partner should know what I’m thinking or feeling. And if not it’s their problem. They should be more in touch with me.
So when that happens, it’s a very, very slippery slope. Because communication is so vital to a good relationship. You know, in Bereshit, in Genesis we’re told about the first couple that was created, Adam and Eve, Adam and Chava. The Rabbis tell us that perhaps they were created like siamese twins, back to back. And G-d saw that they couldn’t communicate. So He separated them, and then they could turn and communicate; talk to each other, grow with each other.
Communication isn’t only about what I have to say. Communication is letting the other person hear what I have to say. But sometimes even more so to hear that I am being heard by my partner. I want to challenge you and my wife and I, (and she’s accepted the challenge.), to sit down this week for five minutes, and share. Communicate about something that you haven’t, for at least a few months or maybe even since you dated.